Beginning a new summer is like the slate being wiped clean and hoping that you will create something better than last year. Creating a plan that is inspiring and fulfilling has always been really important to me because it helps me to grow and feel accomplished. The summer before starting my senior year felt more pressured than the ones before it. I wanted to make money of my own, get some experience under my belt, and show the world what I was made of. I applied to several different types of jobs and perfected my LinkedIn account, praying that I would get an offer from somewhere fun and interesting. I applied to work at the Texas State Aquarium and trendy retail stores and I applied to an internship with an energy company by the name of TXU Energy. When I got the call from TXU’s Houston office, I admit I was instantly excited to know that they took an interest in me. I completed a series of interviews and before I knew it, I was employed at last. I began my journey as an energy bill collector at the beginning of June and I was certain it would come naturally to me. All I had to do was go into local businesses, smile, and say: “Hi! My name is Susannah and I’m with TXU Energy. I have a $20 gift card to offer you in exchange for a copy of your monthly electric bill.” How hard could it be?

        The job was just that – a job. I started out pretty strong my first two days on the job. I had to collect a minimum of fifteen bills from fifteen different places before the week was over, and I’d be golden. My confidence soon started to break down as the next couple of weeks unfolded. Places rejected me more and more every day and I felt betrayed by own city. Stores I shopped at growing up told me “no” and “sorry, we aren’t interested”. Some places were flat out rude to me and I took it personally, even though I had been told not to let it get to me. I guess I always knew failing was a possibility, I just never accepted the fact that it would become my reality at least twenty times a day, five days a week, for the rest of my summer. So I started giving the matter serious thought each day and I knew I needed to change my approach fast. I knew that I was no longer going to accept “failure” as my label for the summer that was supposed to help me grow in the first place.

        Week four was beginning and I was slowly getting better and building my self-motivation. I began to speak directly to the business owners themselves when I walked into a business. I began elaborating on what my job was and what it meant to me as a student. Sometimes I would get into hour-long conversations with business owners about what their work meant to them and what my experience had been like this summer. I gained perspective and I listened to people, so they listened to me in return. I got to know business owners for who they were and not just what they did, but why they did it. Connecting with people is a way that I express myself and it’s a powerful way to gain insight, so I will emphasize this component in the future. 

       Although the job never got any less difficult, it certainly became more rewarding with each passing day. Instead of letting nerves and the dread of being turned away control my attitude, I found affirmation in which I talked to and the knowledge that I handled the day with grace and confidence. I believe that one of the most important discoveries of all this past summer was discovering that failure is not an outcome, but rather a method of getting feedback. Failure is just another part of the process that I will inevitably go through when starting a job. I wanted a job to earn money and experience, but I gained so much more when it came to a close.